Player Profiles: ENGLAND

In order of appearance:

Andrew John Strauss (Captain)

Age:  35

County Club: Middlesex

Test Debut:  England v New Zealand, Lord’s, May 20-24 2004

Batting Style:  left-hand

Bowling style:  left –arm medium

 2011 Moment:  Being the first captain in 24 years to retain the ashes in Australia & to have captained the winning side in England (2009)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Strauss, Strauss, Never Gets Out

Worth Watching Women?:  Strauss is not known for his good looks, but by no means can you call this man ugly.  If the silent leader type appeals to you the he’s your man, don’t let his new found short hair put you off – well spoken, well mannered & well presented, I get the sense Strauss makes the perfect husband...

Alastair Nathan Cook

Age:  28

County Club: Essex

Test Debut:  India v England, Nagpur, March 1-5 2006

Batting Style:  Left-hand

Bowling Style:  off-spin

2011 Moment:  189 v Australia (SCG) & 294 v India (Edgbaston)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Ali, Ali Cook & YMCA

Worth Watching Women?:   Tall, dark and handsome; Cook is a woman’s highlight of any series.  With a tendency to stay at the crease he provides us with a long viewing time, and with his most utilised fielding positing being ‘silly-mid-on’, he finds his way into most TV frames.  Sad news girlies: he’s a newlywed so your chance has passed. 

Ian Jonathon Leonard Trott

Age:   31

County Club:  Warwickshire

Test Debut:   England v Australia, the Oval, August 20-23 2009

Batting Style:  Right-hand

Bowling Style:  Right-arm medium

2011 Moment:   203 v Sri Lanka (Cardiff)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Jonny Trotter & Jonny Trott is England’s Number 3

Worth Watching Women?:   Other players speak of Trotty’s poor style when it comes to clothes.  However, many women find a South African accent extremely sexy – so my advice is shut your eyes and just listen.

Kevin Peter Pietersen

Age:  32

County Club:  Surrey 

Test Debut:   England v Australia, Lord’s, July 21-24 2005

Batting Style:  Right-hand

Bowling Style:  Off-spin

2011 Moment:  202 not out v India (Lord’s)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Get KP, Hi Ho Super KP & Just A Little Bit

Best Tweet:   “Stuart Broad has just walked into our room & asked if Chuck Norris is a UFC fighter...#ohdear”

Worth Watching Women?:   KP is the ultimate celebrity cricketer.  He’s not everyone’s cup-of-tea, but now that he’s settled down with a traditional hair style & overall look, I think he’s pretty attractive; the guilty pleasure of the cricket team.  Another South African, KP also has the accent to match...but a little high-pitched at times?   

Ian Ronald Bell

Age:  30

County Club:  Warwickshire

Test Debut:   England v West Indies, the Oval, August 19-21 2004

Batting Style:  Right-hand

Bowling Style:  Right-arm medium

2011 Moment:  ‘The Run-out’ v India (Trent Bridge) & 235 v India (the Oval)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Ian Bell’s our Hundred Maker

Worth Watching Women?:  Sporting the ‘rugged-look’ in 2011, he’s changed his style over the years.  Not your traditional knight-in-shining-armour, but we hear he’s the prankster of the team. 

Matthew James Prior

Age:  30

County Club:  Sussex

Test Debut:   England v West Indies, Lord’s, May 17-21 2007

Batting Style:  Right-hand

Other:  Wicketkeeper

2011 Moment:  ‘The window incident’ v Sri Lanka (Lord’s)

Barmy Army Song(s):  He’s Matty Prior

Worth Watching Women?:   Though lacking a good lid, what he misses on his head he makes up for on his face.  Matty P is not bad looking at all & appears to have a wicked personality.  Sadly ladies his South African accent has been whipped by public school, but you’re sure to have noticed his toned ‘back-side’ as the camera takes the angle from behind the wicketkeeper – naughty!

  

Eoin Joseph Gerard Morgan

Age:  26

County Club:  Middlesex

Test Debut:   England v Bangladesh, Lord’s, May 27-31 2010

Batting Style:  Left-hand

Bowling Style:  Right-arm medium

2011 Moment:  104 v India (Edgbaston)

Best Tweet: “[my] top score in stick cricket is 27...I can’t get passed level  7!! L”

Worth Watching Women?:  Morgan photographs well & when interviewed shows off a cheeky smile.  Teased by the team for being ginger, many women find this man attractive, and if you’re a fan of the Irish accent he’s a good catch. 

Ravinder Singh Bopara

Age:  27

County Club:  Essex

Test Debut:   Sri Lanka v England, Kandy, December 1-5 2007

Batting Style:  Right-hand

Bowling Style:  Right-arm medium

2011 Moment:  Ending the fastest half century in history (c Kumar) v India (Edgbaston)  

 Worth Watching Women?:  All round nice guy, Ravi always interviews with a spring in his step & a smile on his face.  How can you not love him?  But, I think most would like to have him only as a friend rather than anything more....

Stuart Broad

Age:  26

County Club: Nottinghamshire

Test Debut:   Sri Lanka v England, Colombo (SSC), December 9-13 2007

Batting Style:  Left-hand

Bowling style:  Right-arm medium-fast

2011 Moment:   Hat-trick v India (Trent Bridge)

Barmy Army Song(s):  He’s Big, He’s Bad

Best Tweet:   “Sienna Miller is pregnant. My day and dreams are ruined.  Still won COD tho”

Worth Watching Women?:  Known by the Aussie 2009 team as ‘baywatch’  because of his floppy blond hair and cheeky smile, Broad has since toughened up his look.  Hair is now shorter and often slight stubble is visible, he is still the one all the ladies fancy.  When he runs in to bowl, it’s fair to assume that most women skip-a-beat as the TV zooms in.  The best bit, he’s still single...!

Graeme Peter Swann  

Age:  33

County Club:  Nottinghamshire

Test Debut:  India v England, Chennai, December 11-15 2008

Batting Style: Right-hand

Bowling style: Off-break

2011 Moment:  6-106 v India (the Oval)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Swanny Super Over, Graeme Swann is Bowling & Swann Will Tear you Apart

Best Tweet:  “That’s a busy day of media done promoting ‘The Greatest DVD of our time’ now off to Lord’s to play tour guide...and on your left you will see where Alastair Cook hides his Saxaphone, on your right where Tim Bresnan keeps his colouring books”

 Worth Watching Women?:   Teased for having a protruding jaw-line, Swanny’s attraction is most definitely his personality.  Swanny can talk the talk and walk the walk, he most certainly has the best banter in this England side & would keep you entertained for hours!

James Michael Anderson

Age:  30

County Club: Lancashire

Test Debut: England v Zimbabwe, Lord’s, 22-24 2003

Batting Style: Left-hand

Bowling style: Right-arm fast-medium

2011 Moment:  5-65 v India (Lord’s)

Barmy Army Song(s):   Jimmy Anderson

Best Tweet:  “on day 3 here at our bowlers training camp in SA. Sunburnt, stiff from bowling & cant breathe at this altitude.  Going well so far”

Worth Watching Women?:   He’s a firm favourite for most women, ruggedly good-looking Jimmy also has some style. 

Mudhsuden Singh Panesar

Age: 30

County Club:  Sussex

Test Debut: India v England, Nagpur, March 1-5 2006

Batting Style: Left-hand

Bowling style: slow left-arm orthodox

Barmy Army Song(s):  Pig Bag

Worth Watching Women?:   Monty is a loveable player, with hilarious reasoning behind his football allegiances (watch ‘Swanny’s Ashes Video Diary' part 3)

Christopher Timothy Tremlett

Age: 31

County Club: Surrey

Test Debut: England v India, Lord’s, July 19-23 2007

Batting Style: Right-hand

Bowling style: Right-arm medium-fast

2011 Moment: 6-48 v Sri Lanka (Rose Bowl)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Merry Xmas Chrissy Tremlett

Best Tweet: “Monty [Panesar] I’m not sure. I think I saw people skiing on your nose thinking about it”

Worth Watching Women?: Nicknamed ‘The Terminator’, Tremlett is a gym-monkey.  Coming in at a huge 6ft7”, he’s one for the taller ladies out there!

Graham Onions

Age: 30

County Club: Durham

Test Debut: England v West Indies, Lord’s, May 6-8 2009

Batting Style: Right-hand

Bowling style: Right-arm Fast-medium

Barmy Army Song(s):  Hey Jude

Best Tweet: “Wish I had an invite to SPOTY tonight! Obviously big-guns only.  Last time I share my walkers crisps with Gary Lineker”

Worth Watching Women?:   He seems quite a character.  Not traditionally handsome, but he does have a certain charm about him. 

Steven Thomas Finn

Age: 23

County Club: Middlesex

Test Debut: Bangladesh v England, Chittagong, March 12-16 2010

Batting Style: Right-hand

Bowling style: Right-arm Fast-medium

2011 Moment:  4-108 v Sri Lanka (Lord’s)

Barmy Army Song(s):  Steven Finn

Best Tweet:  “Got a bit of stick for my red jeans tonight, I thought they looked alright. #Nothelpingmyself”

Worth Watching Women?:   The youngest of the group, Finny always wants to play with the ‘big boys’.  He’s not bad looking, but was teased in ‘Swanny’s Ashes Video Diaries’ for poor hair & a big nose!